Hello, my friends. Today’s video is about where you have your anchor. Is your anchor in the past, is your anchor in the future, or is your anchor in the present? I’m Stacy Rocklein, and I help people open their hearts so that they can experience more love in their lives, more love in their relationships, and more self-love.

Let’s talk about where we keep our anchor, because we all have it somewhere, and it’d be awesome if it was in the present, but I have to tell you that most of the people I meet, including myself, have got it anchored somewhere else. And we need to talk about that because, as much as possible, you want to pull your anchor out of the past or the future and put it into the present. Not that we’re not going to think about the past or think about the future, but you want to be experiencing this moment in its pure form, not as it relates to the past or the future, just as it is.

Let’s talk about having an anchor in the past. One of the ways that I see people stuck to this is that they had a very happy experience in the past, and something was lost — a person, a relationship, a job — and now the present feels like lack, and feels like the loss of that thing, feels like there used to be this happy thing, and it’s no longer here, and they resist this moment because they’re comparing it to the past.

Another thing that happens is that people have a traumatic event from the past, so something really terrible happened to them, and they’ve allowed that to define everything about their now, allow that to define who they are. It causes them to judge every relationship and experience and situation that they’re in in the present moment by that thing that happened to them. And it’s kind of fascinating, because people who have anchors in the past, you’ll find out in a coaching session within the first session, usually, if not the first two or three, the event, or the happy thing. They are stuck to it, because it will come up, it will come up right away, and they’ll be like, “Oh, that thing.”

So then you’ve got future-focused people, and people who have their anchor in the future. I know this one because this is me. I have always been somebody who said, “I don’t care about the past, leave the past behind, I’m past it, I’m over it, I’ve grown through it.” I’ve never been one to keep a lot of mementos over the past, or anything like that. It’s always the future, okay? So I’m looking at the future, and I’m planning for the future, and I’m taking steps towards the future. But when we’re taking steps towards the future and we’re thinking to ourselves, “I will be happy, and content, and great, and at peace, and wonderful once I” fill in the blank. Or “After I” fill in the blank, or “When I” fill in the blank.

Then what happens is, now, we feel less than. Now, we feel like we’re not good enough because we’re not there yet, and so we resist this now because of something we want in the future, and that causes us to not feel happy and content in the now moment, because we’re looking at the future. And what’s kind of crazy and interesting is that a lot of times, we are attaching our future desire for where we want to go because of a fear or because of a belief that was born — guess where — in the past. So something has happened here, and now it informs how we think we need to be or want to be or have to have in order to be happy, and if we can’t get there, we can’t be happy.

So you can see that having your anchor in one of those places, if it’s causing you to feel discontent or unworthy or anything like that in the now moment, is a problem. Now, it’s not going to be a big deal if you’re looking back and you’re having a fond memory that makes you feel good. That’s wonderful. And it’s not bad to look to the future and think, “You know what? Right now is perfect, just right, and I love it, but I think it would be cool to experience that, or to grow in that way, or to stretch myself in that way.” You can feel the love underneath those kinds of backward-looking and forward-looking thoughts. It’s happy, it’s loving, it’s celebrating something in the past or celebrating a potential in the future, but still loving this moment, and being in this moment and anchored in this moment.

And this moment may actually be painful, it could be excruciating, you might be really going through something hard, but it’s okay. It’s okay, and it will pass, and you will move through it, and you can still find so much gratitude and love in this moment, while still having loving-based thoughts about the past and the future. So think about where your anchor is. Is it so stuck in the past, anchored there, where it is shadowing everything that’s happening in your now, or is it so stuck in the future, and anchored there, that it is causing you to cast negative judgment on where you are right now? And pull your anchor up. Pull your anchor up, and get it stuck in the now, in this moment. This moment is perfect.

One of the ways that we can start to do that is by actually examining the past, since now I showed you how the past and future anchors often relate to the past. You can go back and start to release some of the pain that is in those experiences from the past, or some of the pain of that loss that you went through, and the core beliefs that were born back there that are now informing who you want to be now, and are causing you to have a reaction to fear about who you are and how your life is.

So, looking back and doing that work is huge in helping you pull those anchors up and get them in the present, and you can do that in one of the 21-Day Heart Cleanses that we host. You can find out more about the 21-Day Heart Cleanse at stacyrocklein.com/heartcleanse, or you can learn about that at stacyrocklein.com.

Thank you for watching. I appreciate you taking the time to listen to these messages of love, and I really appreciate you sharing them. Let’s share as much love as we can, and your likes and your comments are… Much gratitude for those as well. And if you’d like to get videos directly to your email, you can sign up for the Love List at stacyrocklein.com, and connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, and YouTube. I would love to connect with you. So, thank you for watching. I hope you have a brilliant day anchored in the now. Until next time, mwah!