There’s a reason we all love Disney movies.
Okay, there are a lot of reasons. But I think one of them is that they are so tidy. Not like our regular messy lives. Good guys are good guys and bad guys are bad guys.
The princes and princesses are the clear heroes. They’re just good through and through. They might be rebellious, but it always works out to be just what the situation needs. Even if they lose their temper (ahem, Frozen), it’s not really their fault.
And the villains? They are bad through and through, too. It’s not like they are mostly bad but have this or that endearing quality. They are pure evil.
Disney movies never ask us to acknowledge some of the villain’s “good” qualities. They aren’t good guys just making bad choices. Like, “Oh she just poisons people because she had a really hard childhood, but did you know she volunteers at the local animal shelter?” They’re all the way bad. They also never require us to give a certifiable screw-up hero status. The cussing loudmouth doesn’t get to be the hero. The dingy one? Always the sidekick.
It’s all fine for pretend.
But. Sometimes we get trapped in this same fairy tale story in our lives. We keep neat little categories for the villains and the heroes.
You know what else is a good movie? The Matrix. This movie is a little different (and if you haven’t seen it… I don’t know how that happened for you. I’m sorry. But it’s not too late). This movie is about reality. The good, the bad, and everything in between. People actually choose to live a more difficult existence just because it’s real. It’s authentic. THEY are authentic.
When people take my 21-Day Heart Cleanse course, they are basically willing to confront the truth so that they can live authentically. They are walking away from the make-believe world of the Matrix and Disney all at once. Here’s what that can look like though.
The villains we have? Often not quite as “bad” as we made them out to be.
And the heroes? Well, let’s just say that they aren’t the Disney version we might have given them credit for.
It can be a little unsettling. We’ve grown used to the tidy black and white categories. He’s bad and she’s good. Then we go and love the good ones and reject the bad ones. So simple! But also unfair. And incredibly conditional.
If you want to really love your heroes, I mean REALLY love them, you’re going to have to welcome in their failings and screw-ups. It’s not Disney. They are real live humans making real live human mistakes. Just like you. Just like me. And just like the villains.
That’s the other side of accepting reality. Your heart will inevitably soften toward your villains. If you let it anyway.
And if you do, here’s the coolest part. You, my friend, have a little bit of villain in you too. We all do. Practicing acceptance of others is how you practice acceptance of yourself. A necessary pre-requisite for unconditional love.
Disney is a lovely escape. It’s a predictable and comforting way to view life. But living in reality is truth, authenticity, and the only real shot we have at fully, deeply, and completely loving ourselves and the people in our lives.
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