In this video, we’re going to talk about a couple of very small words that can be traded out for different ones which can then make a huge difference in how well we’re able to communicate and how well we’re able to connect with other people.

I’m Stacy Rocklein and it is my mission to help people bring more love into their lives, more love in their relationships, more self-love, and to remove the obstacles that are keeping love from them. Because I promise you, it is trying to get to all of us.

Let’s begin by talking about belonging. Everybody wants to belong. That’s really the driver behind so much of what we do. We want to belong. We want to be connected to people. We want love. We want to be in partnerships. We want to be part of the team. That is so important at our very core.

There are some pretty easy ways to help people feel that way when you are having a moment with them. I want to share this super small trick that can completely change the energy of a moment, a conversation, or an experience.

One thing we do a lot is walk around using these words. I. Me. My. When we say I, Me, My, we are establishing our identity. This is who I am. That’s fine, because it’s just the way we talk. But when we are in a conversation saying, “I feel this way when you do this,” you can feel that separation. We are drawing a line between us. This is me. This is you.

When we start to have conversations where we use different words, like we and us and our, suddenly we have established a connection and a partnership with that person. It is like we have already accepted them and said, “You belong because we’re together on this.” Just by making that little trade.

Words are hugely important, even tiny ones. When we start to say we, our, us, we are creating connection.

Here’s a silly example. When my kids are misbehaving and I’m talking to my husband, I will refer to them as “your children”. It’s just a joke, but you can see what I’m doing there. By taking myself out and saying “your children”, I’m not involved anymore. I’m leaving the mess to them. But when we are talking about “our children”, we’re together. We’re unified. We are working on this as a team.

And you can use this everywhere…in your relationships, in a moment, in general. If you can make this switch in a lot of areas, it can benefit you so much.

Not to be stressed about it, because we talk the way we talk and we don’t have to worry about that.

But if you know that you want to establish a connection with somebody, if you have a team you’re leading but you want them to feel buy-in and on board, anywhere where you are trying to create a connection, trade these words out. Now you’re saying our and now you’re saying we and now you’re saying us. You are establishing that partnership.

It’s partner language. You’re creating this acceptance and this belonging, and that makes everybody feel good. And it makes people able to start listening to what you’re trying to say. They’re hearing what you are trying to communicate, because they don’t feel the wall up. There is no wall up when we are talking about us. We.

Say you’ve got your partner and you’re saying things like, “I this and you that” When you start to say things like, “How can we improve that?”, there is a complete shift in energy. The other person is way more likely to get onboard. And you get to remain connected to people.

So, it is a very small trade but a hugely important one for increasing our ability to connect with people and to communicate better and to bring more love into our life. Which is what we are trying to do all the time, right?!