Today's video is about a feeling that's really hard to describe, but that comes over us sometimes. It causes us to make decisions that aren't the best for us. We're going to talk about that and what we can do instead of some of the other things we might be choosing.
I'm Stacy Rocklein and I help people learn to love themselves unconditionally so that they can create loving relationships and receive love easily.
Let's talk about this feeling. You know when you are in pain, right? You know when you're hurt. That’s intense enough that it's obvious. I'm talking about something that isn't so obvious. It's a feeling of discomfort, of just being a little uncomfortable. It's a very, very mild kind of suffering. It's unease. It’s unrest, right?
I know I'm this way. I don't do “still” well. When it's time to just sit and do nothing, this feeling comes over me. It's an unrest. It's a sense of, “I should be doing something else.” It's born of different things. It could be that I am feeling a “should” or hearing a “should”. Like I should get up and go do that thing or you know, I should be sitting here enjoying myself now.
There's definitely a million good reasons to learn how to be still. I mean, I practice every single day to quiet my mind and be still, but I struggle. And I know so many people struggle with this feeling of unrest where they're not calm and they’re not at peace and they're not at happiness, and then what do they do? Well, so many choose to run from that feeling or ease that feeling or comfort that feeling in all kinds of ways that aren't good for us.
Right? Maybe it's online shopping, maybe it's a TV show, maybe it's a glass of wine, maybe it's a cookie. You know, there are all kinds of ways that we try to soothe and comfort that feeling so that we can just relax and not feel it. But a lot of the choices that we make, as much as they distract or they numb or they help us avoid that feeling, don’t get rid of that feeling.
You’ve got a couple of choices. I mean, you can go really go into examination about that. That's really cool work. Ask yourself, “What's going on here? What am I feeling I should be doing other than this? What complicated emotion am I feeling? What is causing me to feel this way?” I mean, get in there and take a look at it.
That can be a clue that can really help you long-term. In the meantime though, let me make a suggestion. And whenever I make a suggestion, please always know that I'm making a suggestion to you as well as myself. You probably do a lot of really, really good things for yourself, a lot of really good things that would also ease this feeling of unease and unrest and discomfort.
Maybe it's some kind of exercise that you do, maybe it’s some kind of hobby that you have. Instead of making the easy habitual choice that you know is going to distract or numb away from it, what if you make one of your healthy choices? Instead of watching the TV show, maybe pick up that book you were reading or instead of the bag of chips, what about a walk? Take one of the habits you already have that are awesome and implement that here because instead of putting a bandaid on it, then what you're doing is you're actually addressing it a little bit more closely.
Because you're uncomfortable for some reason, you're uncomfortable whether you're going to examine it or not. You're uncomfortable because of something that's going on inside you. Why not make a good, healthy choice? That is just going to add to your ability to love yourself and add to your ability to accept yourself where you are and add to your self esteem and your self worth, so make that choice instead of maybe one that isn't serving you
And if you're going to get really brave, just stop and ask yourself, “What's going on here? What story am I telling myself? What thoughts am I having? What feeling am I having that I'm having this feeling of unrest?”
Because it's very, very common in our society and culture and it puts us in a cycle that isn't good for us, right? We have this feeling that's uncomfortable and so then we make unhealthy choices for ourselves and then those tend to put us into something a little bit more painful than that little bit of discomfort. And then when that goes away, we find ourselves back in discomfort. And so that's not a healthy cycle, right?
Whereas if we have that little bit of discomfort and then we go make a healthy choice, then we at least aren't going to be putting ourselves into a more painful place. So next time you're there and you just feel unrest, you can't be still…What kind of choice could you make that would be really good for you? That would be a positive choice that you know is going to make yourself feel good. It's going to, at the same time, comfort and ease that feeling.
If you don't want to sit down and examine it, which is totally fine, just these little changes every single day can make a huge, huge impact on our lives and so I'm going to throw that idea out for you today. A small little tweak or adjustment that could actually (especially if this is happening to you every day) make a big difference in your life and how you feel and may even begin to slowly turn that cycle of unease, bad choice, self judgment, pain into something else where unease triggers a healthy response. Unease means I'm going to go do something good for myself, right? Maybe unease will stop. You'll have to see.
That's what I've got to offer you today just to ease that discomfort so many of us feel and to live a life that gets us closer to self love and self acceptance. Thank you so much for watching. By sharing this with somebody that experiences this discomfort, you help me spread the message of self love and acceptance and I am completely grateful for that. So thank you very much. Till next time.