Who’s making you feel guilty

Who’s making you feel guilty

You’re trying to make me feel guilty! Have you ever thought this? Said it? Has someone said it to you? It may be true, that they’re trying to weaponize guilt to get you to do what they want, but I don’t think it’s possible for them to make us feel guilty. We’re the...

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Nobody texted me back

Nobody texted me back

I was having a sad day and sent a group text to a couple of people I care about. It was the end of winter break and I had to say goodbye to my son at the airport. Does it ever get any easier? Usually, I keep things like that to myself, but I’m really trying to ask for...

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Should you say I’m sorry?

Should you say I’m sorry?

To be a good apologizer, you might have to hold two things at the same time. You hurt someone else. But also, you didn’t mean to. (I’m not talking about when people intentionally hurt each other, because honestly, I think that’s a fraction of the harm we do in...

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I have a new partner

I have a new partner

I meet her for an hour once a week and we give feedback on each other’s writing. It’s been a wonderful experience - I’m sure made better by what an awesome person she is - and I've been thinking about how much it has to teach us about relationships. Accountability It...

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Why you aren’t as close as you’d like to be

Why you aren’t as close as you’d like to be

To understand why a relationship is not as deep as you’d like it to be, let’s talk about the three things you need to do to build an emotionally intimate relationship (the formula is the same whether it’s a friend, romantic partner, or family member). Pick the right...

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What to do about emotionally unavailable partners

What to do about emotionally unavailable partners

How many times should you ask someone to show up emotionally before you accept that they just can’t do it? Or aren’t willing to try anyway? When you think about it, it’s not an easy ask. To show up emotionally, you need… To have some emotional literacy. That can be...

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