Do you even like that person who just broke up with you? Honestly?
Take away all the history and memories and pretend they just walked into your life, fresh in this moment. Do you like who they are?
Forget all the potential you saw in them or the relationship and pretend they’re never ever going to change. Would you want to be with them?
Did they adore you? Did they impeccably respect you? Did they care for your needs?
No?
Then why, my sweet and brilliant friend, why are you upset about this ending? This ending is the biggest gift you could ever be given.
You are not broken.
You’re the opposite of broken. You’re bigger than this. You want more and you most certainly deserve it.
The people I work with who get over break-ups the fastest and healthiest see them as necessary endings. Instead of a failure, they consider it a stepping stone. Every ending offers you another way to understand yourself. When you experience something you never want to go through again, you add another thing to the NO list.
It all hinges on one belief though, that this ending is the best thing for you.
Without that, you will limp forward feeling busted up and less than. You’ll be handing over your self-worth to a person or relationship that didn’t deserve you. While you spend time hurting and trying to get over the person, you won’t be mining the experience for all it’s worth and figuring out how to never repeat it.
I’ve done it. Gone back into the ring to chase the same thing over and over again. Different face, different name, identical relationship. Instead of questioning why I continually chose emotionally disinterested people, I just chose another one because…maybe this time.
It doesn’t work like that though. When I look across the landscape of my life, it’s shocking to me that I spent so much time suffering through the same types of relationships instead of picking my head up and seeing all the new and different things to try on.
Bless this ending. Celebrate this ending.
At the very minimum, say yes to this ending and let’s get you to the work of squeezing all the juice out of it so you’re ready for a partnership that suits you in all your glory.
There are a couple of things you need to do first to put this relationship to bed properly so you can start fresh. I’m teaching that in this month’s masterclass, How to Make the Most of a Break-up: Get closure, Face Forward, and Step into Your Next Chapter Whole and Healthy.
Come join me if you’re ready to say YES!