Hey, this is Stacy Rocklein and this is My Vulnerability Project. I want to talk about “confrontation” today, because that word is coming up for me.
Recently I’ve made a commitment to surrender to my intuition and less of my logical brain. When I did that, I ended up with some spotlights on a couple of areas where clearly I was going in a direction that was not the way I was supposed to be going.
Today I need to write an email making a correction, a course correction. And I’m resisting. That’s the coach-y, evolved version of…I’m stressed out and dreading it.
I’m a confrontation-avoider. You can hear in that word “confrontation” that there is fear and judgement. If it’s just communication, that’s not so scary. But “confrontation” is how I keeping thinking of this.
So many things in my life I have tolerated, because I wanted to avoid a confrontation. Why? One of the reasons I avoid confrontations is because I have fear that I’m going to hurt the other person in some way or that they’re going to feel judged. That is a total assumption on my part, of course.
But really deeper than that is that I don’t ever want somebody to communicate with me and me feel hurt or me feel judged. Or to try to communicate with someone and suddenly have it turned back on me and then feel like I’m in “confrontation”, instead of communication. So many times, even though my gut tells me what the right course of action is for me at that time, I stay in a situation that doesn’t feel right just so I can avoid that.
And I can’t do that today. Today I need to communicate and I need to get aligned with something. And it’s kind of a big project, so its important.
But it just got me thinking about that word “confrontation”. How many things are you tolerating because you don’t want to communicate with someone because you have a fear of hurting them or a fear of being hurt or being judged? And what a huge assumption! We can just toss it aside. We don’t know what’s going to happen!
Do I know I’m going to communicate in a loving way and in a kind way? Yes! So better to do it now than wait until I’ve either let it stew so long so that I explode and I don’t communicate it in a positive way and kind way. Or another favorite of mine is just to disappear and go away and never have the opportunity to communicate with someone.
So that’s coming up for me today. Confrontation. Communication. And I just wonder how many of you have also been afraid of it and tolerated a situation that you knew wasn’t right just to avoid it. Not today!