I was recently in a coaching session with my coach. (Did I mention that I have my own coach? Everyone who wants to be more awesome at life should be so lucky.) Anyway, she pointed out something important that I’d become a little lazy about.
I referred to a big business project I was working on as a “beast”.
I was telling her a lot about my energy using that word, and she rightly called me on it. If I’m going to refer to the project as a beast, it’s going to feel like one. Huge, scary, strange and overwhelming.
The thing is that I know this. I share this stuff with people. That’s exactly why I’m writing this blog. If someone who thinks about these kinds of things for a living can slip up, everybody else can.
If you don’t already know this, we attract exactly what we think about, feel about, AND talk about. That means that our words are very important. There is a huge difference in how I feel when I refer to my project as a beast and when I refer to it as big and exciting.
I have one client who is so good at this. He is absolutely meticulous about the way he words things. He knows that diligence in how we refer to our life, relationships, and environment is necessary because it can change them for the better or keep them the same depending on what we are saying. Every time I hear him intentionally reword something, I am impressed and think to myself, “Man, I could be more careful about how I say things.” (I’m forever learning things from my clients. It’s a very lovely bonus to a job I already love.)
Not to say that you have to be perfect. We all have our moments when our emotions get the best of us. Don’t beat yourself up about those.
But if you are walking around always talking about how lonely you are, how poor you are, how fat you are, that’s what you are ordering up from the universe. More of the same.
Now, you might feel lonely and you might even need to talk to a professional about it. Serious loneliness can have dangerous consequences. But maybe you’ve just gotten in the habit of talking about how lonely you are. That’s what I mean here. I’m not talking about when we lose our cool in a moment or when we need some serious help. I’m talking about the kind of lazy wording that can become a habit. When I referred to my project as a beast, I wasn’t even feeling that overwhelmed by it. Yet. But if I kept talking about it like that, it was bound to end up that way.
It was such a good reminder to pause and take note of how I was using words, especially in an area of my life that was so important to me. It’s really not that difficult to make a vocabulary switch. It can even be fun and creative. It’s not overwhelming; it’s thought-provoking! (thesaurus.com)
I was reminded of Will Bowen’s challenge to go 21 days without complaining. The rules are that you can think it, but you can’t say it.
Guess what though? After you stop spewing all of your grievances aloud, your thinking actually begins to change. When your thinking changes, your feelings change. When your feelings change, your life changes. It’s as simple as that.
I’m not asking you to take on his challenge, although it’s awesome and a heck of a lot harder than it sounds. All I’m encouraging you to do is the same thing I’m requiring of myself and that is to take note of the words we use. Switch out the ones that are going to attract things we don’t want with ones that are going to bring us what we desire. Just pick one area of your life that isn’t going the way you want and pick some new empowering words to use or maybe even stop talking about it all together.
As for me, I’m going to get back to my project in all of its exciting, intricate, stimulating magnificence!