Today, I want to make a really important distinction between when you’re supposed to work hard and when you’re supposed to give up. We get this message all the time that you’ve got to strive and work hard and embrace the suck. And there’s a time for that, but there’s also a time to give up. There’s a time to surrender and that’s what we’re going to talk about today.

I am Stacy Rocklein and I work with people who want to love themselves more fully and unconditionally because that is the gateway love that gets us to the ability to love other people more fully and to receive love in our lives.

All right, let’s make this distinction. Sometimes the going gets tough and it is time to dig deep and have grit and to push yourself forward. We can have an intention that we’ve set or project that we’re going to do and it’s not gonna always be fun and awesome. That’s just part of life, right?

But sometimes there’s a reason why we’re not moving forward. So let’s talk about that. The very first thing is when you have a desire and you set an intention and it comes from your heart, it’s coming from your intuition, it’s coming from what you know in your gut is the right thing, the universe has to help you with it. God has to help you with it. Whatever your belief system is, because it comes from the right place, everything wants to align to help you.

Now, if you’ve set an intention that is fear based, you want something because you’re afraid of other options, you’re not going to get that same support network so to speak. You’re not going to get the ease, the flow. The universe knows what’s best for you and it doesn’t want to make it easy for you to get stuff that isn’t good for you.

But let’s just say you’ve got this pure intention, this intention for something in your life or something different in your life and you’re working towards it. You know where you’re going. You have a plan. You’re taking the steps and it’s getting hard and it’s getting hard and it’s not moving and it’s not flowing. What’s going on there?

That’s the first thing to ask yourself. What is going on here? Am I the one who has some kind of mental, emotional, physical block that’s keeping me from moving forward that I can’t move past? I don’t want anybody to give up just because they’re not mentally strong enough. We can just strengthen ourselves. You want to push through that. If it’s you in the way, if you’ve got a mindset that’s getting in your way, if you’ve got anything like that that’s getting in your way, yeah, this might be a time to just suck it up and do it.

However, we can get really attached to our plan and really attached to our agenda and our steps and we can want to push, push, push, push, push, okay, and we know we’re not going to give up. We know we’re not in our own way, but it’s not flowing and it’s not flowing. It’s not flowing and that’s okay. There is sometimes a reason for that and it’s really important that if you know the intention is love based and you know that you’re going no matter what and you’re not going to get in the way and it’s not going, it might be time for surrender. It might be time to just step back and see what else happens.

This recently happened to me as I was working on an aspect of my business. I was working on a project and I knew it was a good one. I knew it was going to help people. I knew that I was supposed to be doing it. No doubt in my mind. I have drive, I have planning, I have all those things. I’m not in my own way.

I know I’m not in my own way, but it’s just not going and not going and not going. And finally I realize it’s time to surrender. It’s time to throw in the towel and say, “Okay. I trust you, universe. You know where I want to go. I think I know the right way to get there, but clearly that may not be true.”

And as soon as you step out of your agenda and you step out of your plan and you step out of what you think is the right thing and you allow for the possibility, magic happens. The universe knows the best way for you to get there and it knows the easiest way. It knows the quickest way and from that perspective, there are unlimited ways for you to get it. You know, we’re just little humans with little thinking minds and we’re like, “I could do it one of three ways. I’ll pick this one.”

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The universe knows that there are limitless ways to get there and you can just step back and just go, “You know what? I set the intention. Let’s see what shows up.” Super cool things were showing up for me. Super Cool. Things will show up for you. Things you never thought possible, like you wouldn’t have even considered doing it that way. And all of the pushing, all of the pushing stops because it’s like, “Oh, that way is way easier. That way makes way more sense and that way will get me exactly where I’m going.

But we have to be brave enough to surrender. Surrender our agenda, surrender our plan, just surrender for a little while and be open to what the possibilities are because the possibilities are magical and when your intention comes from your heart, everything will show up for you.

So you’ve got to be able to distinguish between those two things. When it feels hard, you hear yourself saying “hard.” When there’s a lot of effort. What is it? Is this just one of those times where it’s super unpleasant? Okay, I’ve got to get over this mile marker when I’m training for my marathon or I’ve got to put in this little aspect of a project which isn’t my favorite thing.

When is it just hard and you have to push through? And when is it that you’re pushing against divine energy, God, universe? You’re pushing against a better plan. You’ve got to feel out the subtleties so that you can surrender when it’s time for you to just step back and go, “Okay, fine. I’ll get out of the driver’s seat. Show me a better way.” And when is it time to just, you know, put on your work boots and get to it.

So check your intention first. Does it come from your heart? Is it something that you know, your instinct, your intuition, everything tells you is the right thing. And then, is it just hard work or is it time to maybe see if there’s a better plan that will land in your lap that you can follow?

That’s what I’ve got for you today. If you right now are in a hard situation and it is feeling hard, I want to hear from you. I want you to test yourself. Can you distinguish between? Do you know which side you’re on? Is it hard because it’s just hard or is it hard because it’s time to surrender?

Send me an email to I would love to hear where you’re at and where your struggle is. And I definitely want to hear what happens and what shows up when you surrender because that’s the fun magic. Okay. I will see you next time.

Hey, let’s connect! I’d love to hear from you. You can find me on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. If you’d like to sign up for my weekly newsletter, The Love List, scroll to the bottom of the page.