I recently had a session with my business coach that left me feeling a little discouraged.  She was gently helping me see a flaw in my thinking (for the second time actually, because apparently I like to spend a lot of money to not listen the first time).

And as I tried to push myself forward, I had to admit I felt deflated because…

  • I wasn’t already perfect (Well, hello Ego).
  • I’d invested a lot of time in the project which I was now going to have to majorly edit or even scrap.
  • I didn’t listen the first time which would have saved me time and money.

But even in the midst of the discouragement, I could easily feel what was underneath it.  I could feel the gratitude for my amazing coach, her wisdom, and patient persistence with me.  I could feel the excited anticipation that comes with knowing there is a better way to do something.  I could feel the trust I have in myself and the universe that it will eventually all come together.

And that is because of where I’ve built my house.

I know I will visit the lands of discouragement, disappointment, frustration and anger.  That just goes with the journey of being human.  But, I know I won’t stay in that dark place for long.  I’ve built my house on love, optimism, gratitude, and trust.  That is where my foundation lies, so it is always the place I will come home to.

I also know that I don’t have to fear those darker emotions.  I don’t have to panic when they arise and question all of my personal growth.  I can love and accept them as part of this long, strange trip.

But, this isn’t always the case.  Some of us are living in those painful worlds.  We have built homes there, taking only temporary vacations to joy and happiness, but inevitably ending up back home.

We’ve ALL experienced dark moments where it can feel like you are taking up permanent residence in sadness or loneliness.  Sometimes our happy home feels like a distant memory.

So how do we make our way back to that place where love and generosity ultimately win out? 

Well, here’s the big secret.  Wait for it…

PRACTICE!

That’s right.  In the best case scenario, it takes practice.  Just like looking at a snapshot of loved ones back home, we ask ourselves questions that remind us of that happy familiar place.

How will this make me better than I was before?
What is the positive spin on this situation?
Where is the learning opportunity here?

In particularly challenging times, it takes help.  Sometimes, it is beyond the scope of what we can handle on our own.  That is when it is time to reach out.  It may be as simple as phoning a friend or family member.  Or it may take something that requires a little more courage, like therapy or coaching.  Either way, we need to be able to recognize when we are too disconnected from our happy home to get back without help.  There is no weakness in leaning on others.  It is just another part of this human journey.

What is it that they say in real estate?  Location, location, location.  If you can build your house in a positive and loving world, then the little side trips life throws at you will be just that.