This video is about apologies. In particular, if you are holding out for an apology from someone, why you should stop doing that right now.

Let’s talk apologies. What’s going on when somebody wants an apology? They’ve had an experience where they felt hurt probably and felt that the other person was wrong in what they did. In order to make that right, they need that other person to apologize to them. They’re waiting for that apology to come and once that is made right, they’re going to be able to move on.

What’s happening here is we’ve got some right/wrong thinking and we always want to avoid right/wrong thinking because it makes us have negative feelings if we decide something is wrong.

If you just think about life as experiences we want to have and experiences we don’t want to have, that doesn’t have any judgment in it. It’s just that we want more of these and less of these. But we’re human so we decide that things are right or wrong, good or bad. That’s fine. That’s just our nature. But the more we can move away from that judgement, the more at peace and content we will be.

But if we’re expecting an apology or waiting on an apology, we’ve got right/wrong thinking. We’re hurt. That’s why we’re waiting for it. It can feel like you’re standing up for yourself, like you are taking a powerful stance. “I’m not going to put up with that. I’m not going to let someone treat me that way.” It’s got justice. “I’m going to get justice for that thing that was done wrong to me.”

But that power is an illusion. Actually, you’re doing the opposite. You’re giving away your personal power to them, to that experience. You’re saying, “I can’t move on without this. I need this apology and then I’ll be able to move on.” Which basically means, “Here, have all of my power, because I can’t feel good on my own. I need this first.”

Stop doing that. The need for that apology is undermining your belief in your ability to move on on your own, to decide how you’re going to feel regardless of what has happened. Just let those go. Let those go if you are hanging on waiting for one, because you are holding onto that hurt too in that process.

Sometimes somebody apologizes but we still want an apology from them. That’s usually because an insincere apology has been made which can look different ways. Let’s first talk about a good apology, a real apology, a genuine apology. This is what it is. So simple.

I am sorry for this action I did to you.

Period. Period. Nothing else.

Now someone might say those exact words but you can feel that it isn’t a genuine apology, because they’re not sincere about it.

Sometimes people will say those words but then add things on which basically void out the apology. “I’m sorry I did this thing to you BUT blah blah blah.” “I am sorry I did this thing to you. I was just dah dah dah.” All of those justifications and rationalizations and everything basically just void out the apology.

The message then from the person who is apologizing is, “I don’t really think this was wrong. I think this is okay what I did. But clearly you need an apology or the right thing to do is apologize so I’m going to give you an apology. But I’m going to make it okay for me by getting my two cents in and delivering what I need to say. Because I don’t really feel it.”

The person who was apologized to doesn’t really feel like an apology has been made, because it hasn’t and they’re waiting for that.

But the real gist of this video is that you want to retain your personal power. You want to keep it for yourself. You can move on without them. In fact, you can say to yourself aloud, “I do not need that apology to move on. I am moving on regardless of whether that person apologizes or not.”

Instead of holding yourself in that place of hurt and staying there while you wait for it, you can move forward without it. You can move forward without it. That’s how you’re going to bring more love into your life anyway, by releasing those things. Those things are blocks. They’re creating blocks for us, because we’re holding onto hurt. We need to release hurt so we can start bringing in love.

We can do that by just throwing them out and letting them go. Any apology you are waiting for, breathe it in, breathe it out, and be done with it. That is my suggestion for you.

Thank you for watching. If you enjoyed it, please like. And if you know of someone else who needs to hear this message, please share.